Weeds and fear and a happy new year

What is it that’s keeping you from obtaining your writing goals?

I wrote this last year for New Year’s Day, and it describes what was holding me back. Maybe something in it will help you to move along in your writing life, too.

The weather today was perfect for gardening. Warm rays through patchy fog offered a setting of beauty and a good temperature for sprucing up my neglected vegetable patch.

Especially at noon: Straight-up sunshine over a soggy lawn.

I went outside to the garden that kept me in tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, and peppers throughout the summer. I turned to other things once fall arrived. And so I came upon a sad sight of yellows and browns that had once been spring green. Two of the three tomato plants survived, but a family of crabgrass moved up and in through the newspaper layer of the raised bed.

The soil was moist, so it was an easy win as I wrestled with the weeds. Except for one rogue clump. It refused me. I yanked and dug through most of the bed, but the weed was strong.

I scratched through the dirt and touched the worms.

I disturbed ant homes and admired their scurry.

I stepped in spoiled fruit and fresh cat litter.

I noticed the rose and remembered the thorns.

And when I found the root, I worked at it until a tug ended the war.

After, I sat in the soil and thought about how those few minutes in the garden characterized this past year.

It took a while, but I managed to make room in my life — and my soul — for my writing desires. There was a lot to dig up, put aside, rearrange, sacrifice, before I could move along. And entwined through it all was that stubborn weed called Fear.

I pulled it up and out. And tossed it away.

(Updated, originally posted January 1, 2012)


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8 thoughts on “Weeds and fear and a happy new year

  1. What a great post, Darla. For me, an important piece is knowing when I’m strong enough to pull that particular root or when I need to move on and clear away others first. I try not to let fear of one root prevent me from tackling others while I’m strategizing or working up the courage.

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  2. I like your analogy also, I do not garden but have my share of things I need to dig up and discard. So many weeds clutter my life and threaten to choke me at times. As I raise my tea cup to you…here is to my pulling up my weeds of distractions and tossing them aside! Blessings ~ Patty

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